I'm sure some people are still following this...

I'm in Kenya now, livin' it large with an unruly bunch of kids from east London. Well, sort of anyway... painting slum schools and cleaning up the shit from the streets of Nairobi. Ain't we nice?

If you want to follow our progress, as depicted by the aforementioned group of illiterate retards (myself and one or two others excluded), go to http://theswiftinkenya.blogspot.com

Enjoy!

I'll post a few highlights up here once I'm home.

Photos!

There are loads to catch up on and still a few hundred to upload, but I now have a decent amount on my flickr page and they've all been nicely arranged into sets according to where they were taken. http://www.flickr.com/photos/37333113@N03/

Here's some tasters:

Surin:










Hanoi:





Sapa:

Lao Cai = very nice beer :)

I'm home

There's still more blog to come and more photos to show, but I thought I'd let you all know that against my own better judgement, I have returned to London. So for now at least, farewell southeast Asia. *sad face*

Surin

We were based in a pre-existing 'study-centre' in the Surin Elephant Village, which includes ivory stalls, a circus and elephant rides... hardly the best education you can get. There were 8 volunteers and we were the first ever to go there. We paid 6 mahouts 500B each a day (about 4 or 5 times what they normally earn) to unchain their elephants, put their hooks away and have their elephants follow us around while we went off and planted fields of grass, trees etc... Then each afternoon, we'd head off to the local river or mud bath and bathe the elephants with the mahouts. Basically we were trying to show them that they can make a lot of money without having the elephants work and without them putting in any effort whatsoever. All the mahouts co-operated completely and apparently were surprised at how well things turned out... some promising to continue the routine of a daily bath; something that doesn't happen at the moment. Whether or not they will, I don't know. he morning we left, we saw one of our elephants back in chains, mahout on its neck, hook in hand, so it might take a while to educate them completely.

The place itself is stunning. Completely flat, rice paddies everywhere and thanks to deforestation, not many trees in sight... we're hoping to change that. They currently have 65 elephants at the centre (we saw about 20 in total... it's possible the rest are on Bangkok streets. We thought it best not to ask that sort of question just yet), most involved in the circus. We're hoping that their mahouts will see the money we've spent on our six and be more willing to co-operate with us in future.

Eventually, it'll just be a vast area of land for up to 300 elephants to roam free in, with volunteers and visitors working with small family groups, while the rest are free to roam, undisturbed, and we'll cycle families. As it stands though, the land itself just isn't ready for that number of elephants, so we need to plant loads and loads of grass, trees and fruits for the elephants to eat.

The local river is awesome. It's so much wider and less currenty than the ENP river, and bathing elephants without throngs of day visitors is so much better. We even got in little fishing boats for one of the afternoons, which was insanely good fun! You also get to get an awful lot closer to the elephants themselves here than you do in Chiang Mai. There's a lot less security stuff like barriers for feeding and it makes a big difference... I felt like I really got to know the six elephants we were with.

The volunteer group were, if it's possible, even more awesome than our group was at ENP! We all got on, were all hard workers and everything went excellently. Couldn't have asked for a better week (could have asked for a longer one though) - it was hard to leave.

There are lots and lots of photos to come. Hope you've got unlimited internet, John!

I'm back in Bangkok :(

... and i'm still alive. Surin was, by a long way, the best week of my travels to date. Lots of stories to tell.

Right now, I'm off to find some street begging elephants with fellow volunteer Rachel, which should be an experience, if nothing else.

Tomorrow's my last full day in Asia and I'm off on a shopping spree. If anyone wants to get any dirt cheap CDs or DVDs, tell me now. I can absolutely guarantee that they'll be 100% genuine - possibly even working - copies in authentic paper cases. No piracy here!

Short update

I'm sure I will find time to write about Sapa and Hanoi in a bit more detail than this at some point, but blog writing is boring and I really can't be asked right now. I've got a few more hours to enjoy Bangkok and then it's off to Surin tomorrow morning to play with some more elephants for yet another week. God, time's gone quickly!

After that's done, it's back here for the Sunday night and the following Monday, then I catch a plane to The Big Apple on Tuesday. 23 hours in planes and airports... looking forward to it!

Sapa was superb. Really good people doing it, beautiful place, interesting night spent with a hill tribe family, got an indecent amount of excersize (those hills are steep!), learnt quite a lot of new card games and generally just had a good three days there.

The last night in Hanoi was great... got drunk for about a quid and caught my plane with a killer hangover. My malaria tablets don't help much with this, I've found. I get a hangover after two drinks!

For the rest of today, I'm gonna catch a skytrain (like the DLR, but good) north and find somewhere out of the way to have dinner. Maybe a local market... I've already spotted some interesting looking (and smelling) local delicasies. Let's see just how strong my stomach is, eh?

Once again I'm gonna give you all a break from my blog. I'll be back in Bangkok next Sunday night, so expect something soon after then. And mum, that doesn't mean that if there isn't anything written with an hour of my return, you have to send a text to both of my phone numbers and worry Jerry with an email asking if I'm okay. I'll be fine... it's only Thailand after all, what's the worst that can happen?

So once more, bring on the elephants!

Next few days should be fun...

For those who I haven't told yet, I arrived in Hanoi yesterday evening, planning to spend a few days here with Jerry (my mate's dad) before heading out to Halong Bay, where I'd maybe do a tour of the islands, sleep on a boat and come back to Hanoi before (probably) flying to Bangkok on Sunday.

Well that's all changed... Jerry recommended the Kangaroo Cafe as a good place to book tours, and having looked online, it seems he was right. So I got the local bus to the town centre (only 3000d and quite an experience!), headed there for lunch and had nasi goreng, which I hadn't been able to find since Indonesia (off to a good start already). I asked about their tours and a girl produced a huge folder, which thudded down on the counter and invited me to sit and read it for a while. It took half an hour, and that was only the Halong tours! I asked about availability for their 3 day, 2 night option and was told that not only was this was a bad time of year to do Halong - Vietamese summer holiday... thousands of tourists flock there - but the next tour to leave was on Sunday morning. She recommended a place called Sapa to me instead. Now I'd already heard of this place through other travellers and Jerry had mentioned it yesterday and it sounds really nice, but the tour info had photos of it and holy crap, the place is stunning! So I'm going there instead. Tonight, in fact. There are tours leaving every night, but if I'd gone on the Tuesday as planned, it would have been just me; all by myself with noone but the tour guide to talk to. Whereas if it were possible for me to leave tonight, there'd be two others there with me. "Same same, but more fun!" she told me.

Now this means I have to leave in a few hours, which means sacrificing the luxury of clean clothes for the duration of the tour (who'll know, eh?) leaving Jerry to his own devices until Friday morning, when I get back. I'm sure he won't mind.

The tour will go something like this:

Leave tonight on an overnight sleeper train to Lao Cai. Leave from Lao Cai to Sapa early the next morning. Check in at the rather nice looking hotel in Sapa, then go for a walk with the guide to some local waterfalls for a few hours. Then a free evening in Sapa.
Next morning we drive to Giang Ta Chai and hike a further 6-8 hours to the small hill tribe village of Ban Ho, where we'll stay the night with a local family in a home-stay.
The following morning, it's a short trek to the nearest road, where we'll be picked up by a mini-bus and taken back to Sapa. That evening, we get taken to Lao Cai again, where we'll catch the return overnight train to Hanoi, arriving on Friday morning.

From there, I'll spend Friday and Saturday night in Hanoi, exploring what looks to be a pretty cool city and, so I've been told, going to a piano shop to give Jerry some advice on pianos. Definitely looking forward to that!

So until Friday I shall bid you all farewell.

Another day of Bike Europe

Apologies in advance here... the s and y keys don't work very well here, so don't mind the weird spelling.

Today's brought the cyclist back out of me.

After lunch I rented a mountain bike with the idea of exploring the town a little bit easier, but I ended up doing 60km to the local waterfalls and back. Possibly the bet thing I've done while I've been out... perfect (if lightly hot) weather, really nice roads, no traffic whatoever and generall just good fun! Everything from the smell of the sun cream before hand, to the roads on the journey, to the feeling of freedom it gave, to the aches and pains and even the arbitrary croissant I had afterwards, reminded me of Bike Europe.

Racing Tuk Tuks and motorbikes, high-fiving local kids by the ide of the road and getting pointed at for riding no-handed (once by a pick-up full of orange-robed monks), I thoroughly enjoyed myelf. The 32km to the waterfall took jut under 2 hours, with a head wind and an average uphill gradient and the way back took 1h20. Pretty proud of the effort it took, but I'm not as fit as I was and I had to reort to the granny ring at one point!

Yet you know it's a good day when just at the crest of the biggest, most painful hill, the wind picks up from behind, your ipod flicks over to Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World and you begin a nice fast, long descent. And yes, I was riding with my ipod in... I know it's dangerous, but I was wearing a helmet, so it all cancels out in the end.

That' all I wanted to report... today has been a day of miles and smiles for me :)

The Elephant Nature Park

First off, I'd like to say a massive thank-you to Jo for the recommendation. It has been a better week than I could ever possibly have imagined! If it weren't fully booked for this week, I'd still be there!

The Elephant Nature Park is a vast sanctuary for abused, domesticated elephants. It's a place where elephants who have spent their lives performing in circuses, begging for their owners on city streets, pulling logs out of jungles or just giving tourists rides on their backs can live without abuse, can get proper medical care and aren't chained around the clock. As a volunteer, it's your job to keep the park going; making sure the elephants get their food, fixing what needs fixing, planting what needs planting and mostly just shoveling shit, sand and soil. Groups of people come for day trips to help feed and bathe the elephants and then watch a documentary about what some elephants go through at the hands of their human owners. I have this on DVD and you'll all be watching it once I'm home. It's not pleasant.

There were 4 girls who had all been there the previous week and were staying for two weeks in total and there were 7 of us newbies staying for one week. There was also a family of four joining us for the first three days.

Day one was spent getting to know each other and doing the tourist 'day-trip' routine of feeding elephants, bathing elephants and watching horrible documentaries. Our group were a varied bunch of people. Included were a horse farmer from Australia (Peter, who I've been traveling with for the last week), a married couple from Australia, a mental health worker from Australia (can you see a pattern here?), an ice cream factory worker from Australia, a family from Tasmania and half a dozen students and ex-students from Australia, England and the US. Our volunteer coordinator was a self-styled Thai Brad Pitt (his real name was not the easiest word to pronounce, so everyone does actually call him Brad). Or Hugh Jackman, for the Aussies. We all got on like a house on fire and I certainly had a thoroughly enjoyable week with the group.

I was practically adopted by the Tasmanian family, so for the first three days I had a new mum, dad and two sisters. I was quite sad to see them go, but within hours of them leaving I had a waterfall to jump off and that well and that truly took my mind off things. Take a look for yourself:



Other activities of note included a trek up to the Elephant Haven; an area of forest about three or four miles up in the hills from the park, where the elephants are allowed to roam free overnight, unchained and without the continual watchful eye of their mahout. We stayed in a surprisingly well built bamboo and timber structure with no electricity, running water, flushing toilets or even internet. Despite this, we shared the most amazing meal I've ever eaten. It was seriously good. There were six of us volunteers who'd made the trek to the Haven and four were vegetarians, so me and Eric (one half of the married couple) had quite a feast of red meat curry and chicken drumsticks, while the rest shared the vegetarian options, which were also apparently really good. I honestly don't know how they managed it in such conditions, but Pom and the mahouts really know how to put a meal together!

We had five elephants with us at the haven and we'd made the journey up with three of them - Hope, Mae Perm and Jokia. Hope is a youngster at 9 years old and is fast becoming a moody teenager, so he's usually kept away from the rest of the group in case he tries anything too ambitious with any of the female elephants. Jokia is a bit of a special case. She's completely blind having lost both eyes to her previous owner when she refused to work after the death of her baby. Watching a blind elephant climb a mountain is something I don't think I'll forget in a hurry - at no point did she put a foot wrong, even in parts that were steep enough to make me struggle! Mae Perm acts as Jokia's eyes and you can hear the two communicating while they walk, Mae Perm in front, Jokia behind.

A few points during the evening, you'd hear an elephant call in the distance and Pom's ears would prick up and she'd know exactly which elephant it was and what the call was for. At one point, the mahouts had to go out into the forest with their torches to reunited Jokia and Mae Perm, who had become separated.

Back at the park, some other activities included paying the local school a visit, where we attempted to teach the kids some English, while they, rather more successfully, attempted to stop us from teaching them English. In the end, I relented with my group of kids and they took me outside and taught me a local Thai sport - basically football tennis (for those unfamiliar, it's like volleyball, but with your feet) - and I proved a lot better at this that than I had at teaching English.

Not only does the park play host to 33 elephants, but there are also 47 dogs and about a dozen cats. And the one thing that I'll miss more than an other from the park is being in the company of so many dogs. Everywhere you turn, there's a dog wanting some attention or two rival packs of dogs at each other's throats. Okay, that bit wasn't quite so much fun, but a week of being around that many dogs has made me really, really want one. I'm sure the cats won't wind, mum...

To finish the week on a high, we spent a few hours with Mae Boon's (I think) six week old baby Fai Mai. In the presence of Lek, who started the whole Elephant Nature Park going, who's presence has a visibly calming effect on all the elephants and who just happens to be a pro photographer, we could safely play with this 300lb bundle of fun. Unknown to me, the act of getting on the floor, below the eyeline of a baby elephant is paramount to saying 'come here and climb on my head' and so there I was, trying to get a photo from a decent angle, a good half a grand's worth of camera in my hand, and Fai Mai, spotting a new play thing, trots over and does indeed climb on my head, face and anything else she can find. She also tried to eat my hair, get a piggy-back from me, steal my camera and generally pummel me into submission. It was great fun, I managed to save my camera (though I don't think my T shirt will ever be quite the same) and I got some good shots to boot. Since then, I've been given two CDs full of the photos Lek was taking and some are spectacular. Trust me to pick a computer with no CD drive and dodgy USB ports... the photos will have to wait.

As a last goodbye to everyone, we all went out for one big meal and drink. At least those of us who enjoy such things did. The Reggae Bar was the venue and, with some quite good music to accompany them, most of our group were on the dance floor pretty quick. I did my best to resist, but they got me up there eventually. I blame the beer.

The last two days in Chiang Mai were spend with Peter and Poonam (she works for HSBC in Birmingham, of all places) in a hotel well above my means, eating at some really nice restaurants and spending far too much money. Bloody good few days though!

Me and Pete happened to be heading in the same direction, so we figured it best to stay together until Luang Prabang, where we'd finally split and head our own separate ways. It took two bus rides to get to Chiang Khong on the Thai-Lao border, the first of which was air-conditioned and comfortable and the second of which was cooled only by the open doors and windows, noisy, full of locals, cheap and much, much more enjoyable than the first. The views out the windows grew increasingly spectacular as we neared the Mekong river, we stopped at a street stall selling nothing but mushrooms and we had the whole back row to ourselves. I later found out that the back row of buses is usually reserved solely for monks, but we didn't know that at the time and nobody seemed to mind, so I'm sure it was fine.

In Chiang Khong, we stayed in a guesthouse, whose name I can neither remember nor pronounce... it began with a B, I think. There was loads of info around the place about Laos Visa regulations, info on the slow boat and speedboats and loads of maps of Laos and surrounding areas. It was surprising that we were the only people staying there that night. Well, apart from one American guy, but he'd been there for 15 months and pretty much worked there. We had a lot of useful conversations with him and the owner, who were both very knowledgeable about Laos and helped Pete sort out an itinerary of sorts for his next two weeks traveling; he's heading back up to the Chiang Mai ENP the same week I go down to Surin.

The slow boat down the river was not quite what I had in mind. I though that it'd maybe hold a dozen people and would go at about walking pace and be nice and comfortable, but in fact, it had well over 50 people on board, most of whom were of the scummy, drunken English/Aussie variety, hard wooden benches with legroom that even Ryanair would be embarrassed about and it went pretty quick, weaving between rocky outcrops in the river. Oh and when it rained, the rain covers didn't work too well and when it rains in this part of the world, it really rains! Nonetheless, we survived the first leg of the journey and arrived in Pak Beng, half way to Luang Prabang on time(!) and found a decent guesthouse to stay the night.

Day two was much more sedate and enjoyable. After only about half an hour, we pulled up beside another boat and were given the option to jump ship and split the passenger load between the two boats. Pete went on the other boat and I stayed put... a bit of a race, if you will. So with more legroom and less noise, I quite enjoyed the last days boat ride. There were a group of girls sitting behind me (from Loughton and Woodford, would you believe?) and one had spotted my camera and we got talking about photography type stuff. Now somehow... don't ask me how... she'd managed to format her memory card, wiping nearly 8GB of photos from her camera and was understandably quite distressed about it. So I spent a while explaining how to get them back again.

After a while the boat pulled up in LP and I met up with Pete to find a new guesthouse. Walking around Luang Prabang is much like walking around a small french village, complete with markets, bakeries and dead rats in the gutter. It really is a charming little place and I'd love to spend more than my three days here.

...

Sorry, but I'm really bored now and this wooden chair is hurting my arse... I'll be back with more stories (and hopefully photos) soon...

An edit for photos:






Lek herself:

Pom:




Brad Pitt:


Poo and Pete:

Recognise?

Lisa (Eric's wife):

Alison:


Pete:


Poo and Mo:


Literally hundreds of new photos can now be found on my flickr account

Lek took the two with me and Fai Mai, I took the rest...

Quick Update

Just so nobody wonders why I'm inactive for a day or two... Tomorrow morning I'm catching the slow boat from Huay Xia to Luang Prabang. Assuming Lao customs and immigration all goes to plan, I'll be on the boat tomorrow at about 11am, stopping overnight in a little village about half way down the river, then arriving in Luang Prabang the following afternoon.

I'm staying in Chiang Khong, on the Thai side of the border for tonight and it's a nice enough town... not masses to see or do though. I'm with Pete from the ENP until Luang, which means that accommodation is now half price and I have someone to chat to on the two day boat.

I'll probably write the ENP blog once I'm in Luang Prabang... it'll be a good'un!

So until LP, goodbye!

I'm back!

Right, you've had your break and I'm back with a keyboard at my fingers... can't say I've missed it much.

Volunteering at the Elephant Nature Park was by far the best thing I've done while I've been away. I shall go into my usual level of detail at some point, but not now. Things to do today. One thing being to sign up for my next volunteering stint with elephants... there's a brand new park being set up in Surin (south east Thailand), by the same people and it's right at the beginning of it's existence. So it'll be homestay accommodation, basic food and an awful lot of hard work. Buildings need building, trees need planting, acres of grass needs planting for the elephants to graze on and so far, a grand total of 5 people, myself included, have signed up to do it. It starts on the 29th and finishes on the 5th in Bangkok - perfect my flight outta here on the 7th.

http://www.elephantnaturefoundation.org/go/Surin

I also need to find the bus stop for the bus to Chiang Kong, which I'll be catching at about 6am tomorrow. There's a possibility of heading out there with fellow volunteer Peter, which would be ideal... it's always nice to have someone to talk to.

Lots and lots and lots of photos, videos and stories will be coming this way soon. Keep your eyes peeled.

It's raining again...

...So I've jumped inside so keep from getting too clean. Can't be having that now.

Just checked the 7-day forecast for north Thailand and 'scattered to widespread thunderstorms with isolated heavy rain for most of the week' was the result. Great!

Chiang Mai

The train pulled in more than five hours late and it was raining far more heavily than should be allowed, but I still love Chiang Mai! I've only been here about two hours and everything is nice and calm, the monsoon's finished and the sun is out, I've got a frankly amazing room at the Blue House for a more than reasonable price, it's not too hot here, I've been in a tuk tuk, I had a very decent night's sleep on the way over in a more comfortable bed that I'd have ever imagined could exist on a train and I'm off to see some elephants tomorrow. All told, I'm pretty happy.

If I don't get online again before tomorrow morning, this will no doubt be the last you hear of me before next Monday, when I get back from the Elephant Nature Park. So you get a week off, you lucky people!

My Thai sim card is being funny about sending things internationally at the moment, so you'll just have to assume that I'm still alive until my next blog post, mum. I'm sure you can manage.

Much love,
Matthew

I'm in Thailand!

Yep, the land of smiles. I landed in Bangkok about an hour late, which I'm not complaining about... one hour less to fill before my train leaves. I'm in an internet cafe opposite Huamphalong (I think) Station and have an hour and 15 minutes til I leave. I've got a 2nd class upper berth (it's actually a bed this time, I checked) complete with air-con. Whether or not the air-con will work, I have no clue, but here's hoping.

The plane journeys didn't go too badly, minus the hour delay in KL and my stomach feeling a bit iffy. That problem still remains, but since I'm on an upper berth, I can fart the night away unnoticed and I'm sure I'll be fine by tomorrow.

First impressions of Thailand are good. Everyone (so far without exception) has been extremely friendly and willing to help and no one has asked me for money or tried to rip me off. Or if they have, they were bloody good because I didn't realise. The taxi driver from the airport even gave a free lesson in speaking Thai! And speaking of which, since I'm a man, if I'm asking for something in a polite manner of even just saying hello, I have to finish the sentance with the word 'krap'. Now I know it's very immature and all, but I'm finding it hard to keep a straight face in these situations. You try it next time you're ordering food. 'Stir fry noodles please... Krap!' It's not easy!

And now for another issue I'm keenly debating with myself and I think I'll need your assistance with. To shave or not to shave? I've got a bit (and only a bit) of a ginger beard going on right now and even though it looks stupid and isn't very comfortable, I kinda like it. So what to do? Shave and only have half my face smothered in hair, or keep it and keep the balance up. I'm gonna let you decide on this one. Cast your votes now!

Boring day, today.

I've spent most of today getting sorted for Thailand tomorrow. Getting clothes washed, changing my Malaysian Ringget for Thai Baht and researching all sorts of stuff about the next month in mainland south east Asia. And from this research, I've come to the worrying conclusion that I may not have enough time to do everything I'd planned. With only three weeks left after the elephant thing, I still have Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia and southern Thailand to compete with. I seriously doubt I'll get all that done, so I'll have to make some priorities.

Initial, very flexible and highly-susceptible-to-change plans are as follows:

After washing elephants for a week, I'll hang around in Chiang Mai for two days or so - no doubt I'll be in desperate need of a shower and somewhere to get my clothes washed - and then I'll be off to the border town of Chiang Khong (no idea as yet how I'll be getting there), where I'll cross the border into Laos and into the town of Huay Xai. From there, it's a slow boat down the Mekong River (looking forward to that) to Luang Prabang, which takes two days with one overnight stop, apparently. Luang Prabang sounds nice, so I'll be there for a day or two, before flying (yes I know... but you try finding a route into Vietnam from there that takes less than a day!) to Hanoi. In Hanoi I'll find Jerry's place and (if he'll let me) use that as a base for exploring northern Vietnam and in particular Ha Long Bay, where that favourite Top Gear episode of mine finished.

That, so far, is the extent to which I've thought this through and that will allow me maybe a week and a half, if that, to get back to Bangkok for my flight to New York. Hopefully I'll be able to squeeze Angkor Wat (Cambodia) into that time, but I'm not counting on it. All I know for sure, is that one day, I'll be back here with a fair bit more time on my hands, because rushing like this is far too stressful and expensive for my liking.

I fly to Bangkok tomorrow morning, via Kuala Lumpur. Penang -> KL at 8am local time, and then a few hours later (can't remember the exact time) KL to Bangkok, arriving at 13.35 Thai time. If I get the train I'm hoping to get, I'll leave Bangkok at 6pm and arrive in Chiang Mai soon before 8am the next morning. Elephant volunteering starts at 8am the following day. Should be a good week :)

I realise that most of what I've said (place names in particular) will mean absolutely nothing to most of you, but it was useful for me to get that written down and so at the expense of your time, I now have a much better idea of what's going to be happening to me for the next few weeks. Thanks very much!

Cameron Highlands and Georgetown, Penang

I'll be brief on the highlands. They're a fairly small mountain range half way up peninsular Malaysia and they have a climate similar to England in spring, only they have it pretty much all year round. The climate isn't the only parallel to the UK either. Much of Cameron seems to think that it'd quite like to be England and the locals have an appetite for English tea with scones and jam, a penchant for all things rural Britain - think cottages and bungalows with rose gardens - and an absolute fascination with anyone English who happens to wander through. It's all a bit surreal, but it was nice to have a proper cuppa again, even if it wasn't quite up to PG Tips' standard. The scones were hot too, I'm sure that's not right. The Chinese tourists lap it all up though, and they come in their thousands.

I stayed in Brinchang, the less popular of the two Highland towns and as it transpires, by far the more expensive of the two. So much for me trying for once to deviate from where the Lonely Planet tells me to go! Still, I found a cheap(ish) tour of the local area, including the local tea plantations (if you ever see 'BOH' tea, this is where it comes from) which was not only visually stunning (see the photos), but pretty interesting too.

From there, I got an air-conditioned 'VIP' coach to Penang, where I'd be staying in the capital, Georgetown for 3 nights. The coach trip was really very comfortable and easily made up for the 7am start. There were two other British couples on board and though we didn't speak much on the journey (mostly due to my being fast asleep), we stuck together at the other end, and for good reason too. You see, we'd all been expecting to arrive in Georgetown, as advertised, but when we shooed off the bus, we were in a remote bus stops in, as far as we could see, the middle of nowhere. We managed to shirk off the taxi touts and found the stop outside for the local bus. Turns out we had been dropped in Relau, in the south of the island. After two busses had gone past, one came in and the lady on board told us that 'yes, bus go Georgetown, yes.' So we hopped on, paid our RM1.50 and it only took us 45 minutes to get to the central bus station in Georgetown. Just a shame that the backpacker district is about half an hour's walk from the centre. Unperturbed, we headed forth and found some locals to ask for directions, one of whom produced a map and showed us exactly where to go, what roads to take and how long it would be til we got there. Thanks to him, we only got lost about three times, rather than the usual dozen. The lonely planet map didn't help, having mislabeled one of the guesthouses and caused us to look (for quite an embarrassingly long time) for a back street that didn't even exist. Still we found our bearings eventually and one couple headed off in search of some friends with whom they'd be staying, the other couple went to somewhere I couldn't afford (although their place had air-con rooms, which in this heat and humidity is well worth forking out for) and I found New Banana. Smitten with the name, I booked the cheapest room they had and while it's a small and quite stuffy affair, it's clean and quiet. I've since discovered that I'm sharing the room with two baby geckos, the smallest of which is less than an inch long, and according to old Mr Gede in Bali, they're a sign of protection and they keep the mosquitoes away.

That night I headed to Little India to quell my craving for a good curry. And boy did I find one (okay, two)! In a fairly large, very loud and very popular restaurant, I sat down, was thoroughly misunderstood by the waiter, inadvertently ordered two main meals and came, I'm quite proud to say, within two or three mouthfuls of polishing them both off. I could barely stand afterwards, but the pull (push?) of my bowels was enough to get me back to Banana. Once thoroughly relieved, I spent the rest of the evening in the rather nice bar downstairs reading my new book (a Tom Clancey one) in the company of a tiger beer.

Today. Today has been erm... interesting, to say the least. As promised I found somewhere that didn't seem to mind renting me a motorbike for the day (Banana refused on account of me never having ridden before... the other place didn't even ask. I gave them the money, they gave me the keys). Now I'd always been of the opinion that if girls can do it and if Indonesian children as young as about 5 can do it, it can't be that hard to ride one, right? Erm... I was very slightly wrong. Thankfully the guy who lent me the bike turned a blind eye as I lurched away from the parking spot, narrowly avoiding the hurtling traffic and kangarooed my way down the road. In my defence, it's a manual with no clutch and until you've got the knack, gear changes are extremely violent and both 1st gear and the brakes are incredibly sensitive! I gained control enough to pull into a little side road and spent a good ten minutes just riding up and down this one empty road, getting a feel for it. To get back to the hostel though, thanks to a phenomenally complicated one way system, I had to make quite a big loop, involving some rather large roads. So I just gritted my teeth and went for it. Scary though it certainly was, I made my way back in one piece and went and collapsed on my bed, never wanting to set foot in that sort of traffic again! It's just plain dangerous!

But I'd paid good money (okay, 4 quid) for that bike and I'd be damned if I wasn't at least gonna use up some of their petrol before giving it back. I psyched myself up for a proper ride, which I'd been planning to do all along and thought I'd go to the next town along the coast, hoping that it'd be less crowded there and the roads between the two would be nice and empty. Not a chance! At no point did it get any less built-up, any less crowded or indeed any different from the centre of Georgetown and it was only at the point that I'd gone much further than planned (without realising... every single road is identical to every other road in this place!) that I stopped, tried to work out where I was, worked out that I had left the map completely and panicked. In the distance I could see a tower that I recognised as being in the middle of Georgetown and I decided I'd head towards that. But even here, the one way systems were a nightmare, pushing me further and further away and every time I could see where I wanted to go, I wasn't allowed down that particular turning or I was forced by other cars round a bend I didn't want to take (lane discipline doesn't really exist in south east Asia). So in the end I resorted, and being a man this was difficult, to asking someone for directions. A local shopkeeper told me (wrongly) where I was on the map and where to go, so ignoring him, I headed again towards the familiar building and this time found a road name that I recognised. Shot down that road and, just to be sure, stopped again and asked another local where I was. This one didn't lie and confirmed where I was on the map and even told me the best way to get round the one way system in chinatown to get back to Banana. And thankfully his advice was sound and I arrived back, shaken and vowing never ever to do that again, collapsed on my bed decided that I'd go and hand the motorbike back that evening. No way will I be exploring the whole island like that. I'll stick to public transport. Motorbikes can be saved til I get home... don't get me wrong, I still want one! It was great fun for those rare moments where there was little traffic and it didn't take long to get the hang of the controls.

The bike safely back with its rightful owner, I went back to Little India for dinner. And usually I wouldn't go to the same place twice, but those curries yesterday were pretty special, so I found the same restaurant again and this time didn't order two mains.

Two girls were sitting at the table next to me and invited me over (I guess I looked lonely). So I sat with them and it turns out they're from America, but have been living in Sumatra, Indonesia for the last year. Another German guy joined us and it turned out to be a nice sociable dinner, which was more than I'd had planned. Unfortunately they didn't hang around afterwards, so me and the German guy quickly paid and parted company.

From there, it was back to here where I started this blog about an hour ago. I'm gonna go to bed soon; it's been a long day! No plans as yet for tomorrow. I'll see where the day takes me.

I shall leave you with photos from the Cameron Highlands, my lovely left foot and the Petronus Towers in KL. With the exception on those two towers, the less said about KL the better!





No doubt this is only gonna get worse...

Just a short one this time.

I'm now in Georgetown, Penang and was expecting some Jakarta-esque shit'ole full of traffic and rude people, but I've been pleasantly surprised. It's not hugely busy (okay it is quite busy, but not horribly so), everyone speaks English, which is more than can be said of the rest of Malaysia, the food has so far been pretty good and I'm staying at the New Banana, which is not only quite nice, but very friendly and filled with travelers like me. It's by far the best named place I've stayed in too! It is worth mentioning though, that there's a weird (presumably) drunk guy in a head-dress dancing to Shine On You Crazy Diamonds by Pink Floyd about 2 or 3 meters away from me. At least has has good taste in music...

New Banana also rent 100cc motorbikes for RM20 a day and I've met two people already who have explored the island by bike and they say it's by far the best way to do it. I've been reading up on how to ride one and it seems pretty straightforward. I don't need a IDP here either, so I won't be coming home in handcuffs for riding without a license.

I spend 3 nights here before flying out and heading to Chiang Mai ready for Monday. I'm really quite excited about the elephant thing!

I might do my usual mega-blog for the last few days, but my headache from the last one lingers on. I might do a short summary tonight. First off, I need to go and get myself a new book - the fifth one I will have read! - before the shops shut, and I might wander down to the seafront this evening to see if it looks any good by night.

So goodbye for now,
Matthew

Slightly more solid plans

First, the good news that I've been accepted onto the elephant volunteering course. It starts on Monday 8th at 8am in Chiang Mai (northern Thainland) and I'm currently only half way up Malaysia, in the Cameron Highlands.

Next stop is Georgetown in Penang for two days (3 nights) and since time is somewhat limited I'm going to have to fly to Bangkok, rather than get the train as originally planned, which would have meant two sleepers and arriving in Chiang Mai only hours before starting the elephant thing. This way I get a (hopefully) comfortable night in a sleeper train and a night in Chiang Mai. I still don't feel good about flying so much though, it feels like I'm cheating.

The thai train website doesn't like me and won't let me book the Bangkok-Chiang Mai ticket online, so I'll have to risk getting it at the station. Apparently this is usually fine, but it's the school holidays here at the moment and this might be a problem.

So far Malaysia seems alright. Prices have increased a fair bit from Indonesia, people speak less English and where I was staying in KL was a bit of a dive, but the rest of the city was amazing. The Cameron Highlands are pretty stunning too, but a bit on the pricey side and rammed full of Chinese tourists.

I really can't be asked to finish the last blog. The last night in Indo involved me, Nolke and Bob going out to the night market for dinner, eating some extremely strange food (some of which came back to haunt me... I can now say with confidence that Dyoralite works pretty well) and me having what can only be described as a condom full of green soy milk explode all over me. I also bought a cool lighter with a green flame which, within hours of buying it, stopped working. It only cost me about a quid, so it ain't too bad... I think it might even be fixable.

I'm gonna try this train website again and then go and get some dinner. There's a big night food market 10 mins walk from here, so I'm going to try some local delicacies.

Until Penang,
Matthew

Bromo & Yogyakarta

Happily I've now recovered from the ordeal of 36 hours of straight traveling. The train from Jakarta was by no means luxurious. I was expecting a bed and got a reclining chair and a free smelly blanket. I was expecting the 'free meal' to be both free and edible and was disappointed on both fronts. I was expecting to maybe get some sleep, but the screaming toddler behind me had other ideas. And lastly, I was expecting to arrive at the time the train was timetabled to arrive, whereby I'd have an hour to catch next train to Probolinggo, but no, a full two and a half hours after we should have been in Surubaya, we finally pulled into the station. So I went to the ticket office to find out when the next train to Probo was and when the man (who didn't speak a word of English) explained with a calendar rather than a timetable, I decided to find myself a nice strong coffee and some biscuits. Biscuits always help.

In the end, I went for a full Indonesian breakfast in a tiny little warung round the back of the station and while I was eating I was approached by a middle aged local guy saying 'where you from? where you from?'. Turns out he just wanted to practice his English rather than sell me some lude, tacky souvenirs, like I thought he would. He was actually a really nice guy, with surprisingly good English and he was more than willing to help out with my transport troubles. He recommended using a public bus from the bus terminal about 20 mins south of the centre, where they do a hourly service to Probo, which takes 2 hours and costs less than half what the train would have cost me. He even offered to drop me there (for a fee of course).

The bus trip was quite an experience. I was the only white person on board and there was a steady stream of buskers and beggers (some disturbingly young), getting on, singing hideously out of tune, spotting the white person sitting sheepishly in the corner, heading down the bus to then sing really loudly into my face, proffering plastic cups under my nose, asking for money, singing even louder when I said no, finally receiving a few coins and jumping off the moving bus, only to be followed by another busker, this time with an out of tune ukulele and an even worse voice. This cycle continued for the whole two hour journey and by the end, I was in a less than pleasant mood.

The bus came to Probo and the bus driver got off and helped me out of the bus and ushered me into a 'tourist information' place. I'm familiar with these from around Bali and they don't provide information, they provide overpriced tickets for tours and they're pretty difficult to leave once you're inside. Until your wallet opens, that is. Sleep deprivation and a foul headache meant that I was probably an easy target for them and indeed I agreed to use them to get up to Cemero Lawang, where Mt Bromo is and I bought a land rover tour from them, which I'd intended to do in Cemero anyway. So having paid an extortionate amount of money for all this, a minibus pulled up outside and I got in, while the driver tied my bag to the roof.

There was an American couple, Michael and Lily, on the bus already, so at least I wasn't the only idiot to get conned into this trip and I'd have some people to talk to on the way up. I got in at about 2pm and it turns out they'd been sitting in the bus since 11am. The driver said he was waiting for the bus to fill up before he left. Oh great, I'd be sitting in a hot, stuffy minibus that was filling up at a rate of one person an hour. Thankfully it only took about half an hour before a large group of Indonesian tourists got on and I thought we'd be able to leave. But the definition of a full bus here is quite different to that at home. It took another two hours (yes, two hours!) before the bus was sufficiently rammed with people, sitting on the floor, hanging off the ladder at the back, on each others laps and hanging out the side door. I'd managed to get a front seat with two chain smokers, but I was still better off than those in the back.

Slowly but surely the bus emptied out as people got off along the road and towards the end it was quite comfortable. We arrived in Cemero in the dark and in the rain and checked out the two cheapest places to stay, which were both pretty expensive and both fairly hideous. We went for the least cell-like rooms, chucked our stuff down and went to check out the restaurant, which, though similarly expensive, was actually very nice and apparently had good views over the volcano during the day. I ate with Michael and Lily and when they went to bed, I was joined by a dutch guy called Nolke, who was in the room opposite me and we had a beer together. He'd done the jeep tour I would be doing the following morning and he told me that the view point was covered by a big cloud when he was there, so they couldn't see a thing. Didn't sound too good, so I didn't get my hopes up. Like me, Nolke was going to Yogyakarta the next day and we decided to make the journey together.

3.30am there was a knock on my door and a voice saying 'Jeep... 15 minute,' so I hauled myself out of bed, chucked on as many layers of clothes as I could find (it was bloody freezing!) and headed out to the front. My jeep was a nice burnt orange Toyota Land Cruiser and the driver was semi-suicidal, with taste for speed. Needless to say, the journey to the view point was great fun! Woke me up more than any amount of caffeine could. The sunrise itself was distinctly disappointing though. Just dark and cloudy and the view from the view point wasn't that great. Plus it was difficult to get to the front to get and pictures due to the throngs of people lining the railing.

The jeep ride down from the viewpoint to the crater itself was, again, great fun. We'd been tailing an identical Land Cruiser down the mountain and once the land flattened out onto a plain of volcanic sand and ash, it was an all out race to the crater! The jeep ride alone was well worth the money I spent on it and more than made up for the crap sunrise.

The crater lip was spectacular. The sun was up by now and it was a clear morning (apart from the smoke billowing from the bottom of the crater), so there were some impressive views to be had.

The jeep took us back to the prison - I mean err, guest house... sorry - and I walked down the road to a tiny little warung with Nolke for a breakfast of Nasi Goreng (fried rice with a fried egg on top) before getting back in the minibus (this time with the same number of people as there were seats!). The journey to Yogyakarta went much smoother that I'd thought it would. We got off the minibus in Probolinggo and there was our next (aircon!) minibus waiting, ready to take us the 8 hours to Yogya. Okay, so the aircon didn't really work and yet again, the driver was a maniac, but we got there in one piece and more than that, we'd made a new friend :) Bob, from Ireland, was the only other English speaker on board and the three of us, on arriving in Yogya, went in search of some budget beds together.

Having been ushered round the little alleyways by a local, eager for us to use his travel agency, we found Nuri Losmen, a small and very cheap affair, with sparse rooms and no hot water, but surprisingly comfortable beds and unlimited free tea. They had only a single and a twin left, so Bob took the single and myself and Nolke shared to twin. Okay, so you do lose a little privacy, but it meant we only paid half each and the result was 3 nights of decent accommodation for the grand total of about five pounds fifty. Not too shabby.

All of us were absolutely shattered, having had rubbish nights sleep in the cell-like mountain rooms (see picture below), so we decided to find somewhere for a quick dinner, maybe a beer and then bed. But only bed for a few hours because the Man U - Barca final was on at 2am and none of us would be missing that! We ended up having dinner at about half 9 in the 'Bintang Cafe', listening to a really quite good live instrumental band (think early Pink Floyd music coupled with late-60's hair and fashion... actually no. Imagine Jimmy Hendrix but Indonesian, right handed, not quite as good [though still pretty decent] and with less fire and there you have the lead guitarist of this band. If only I'd had my camera with me...), but we had to pull ourselves away after a few songs, because we desperately needed some sleep before the game. Thankfully Nolke seems to be a light sleeper because he actually heard his alarm, got up and (with difficulty) woke both me and Bob up.

The game itself was an odd one for me. I fully intended to watch as a neutral, but was swayed in part by patriotism but mostly by the fact that 90% of people watching (including one very annoying, vocal and downright ignorant American sitting next to me) were supporting Barca. So for the first time I can remember, I actually wanted Man U to win a game. Of course, I was only to be disappointed and had I watched as a neutral I would probably have quite enjoyed the result.

Next morning was supposed to be a well deserved lay-in, but I was awake and beyond sleep by about 8.30 in the morning, as was Nolke. So we went to a little cafe down the road to have breakfast and then to a little travel agency to book a tour to see the vast Buddhist Temple of Borobodur at sunset. The tour left at 2pm and we hopped onto a little minubus and set off for the temple. Bob was going to explore Yogya, so we left him in bed.

Borobodur was bloody huge! Like really properly big. But the most amazing thing wasn't the sheer size of it. It wasn't even the mind-bogglingly intricate detail on every inch of it's surface. It was the evidence of what I can only presume to be the most backwards education system on the planet. Local students roved by the dozen all over the temple, having been sent here not on a history trip or even one for RE, but an English trip. Their English homework involves going to tourist hotspots, armed with cameras, pens and pieces of paper, in search of Westerners, whom they have to interview, get a signature from and be in a photo with. So me and Nolke spent most of our time there looking for deserted corners and didn't dare venture towards the top where the majority of them were prowling. Needless to say we couldn't stay inconspicuous for long and once one group has got hold of you, they all follow and block off any means of escape. In the end we glanced up at each other and both decided now was the best time to leave. So shoulders down, we pushed our way out of the crowd (they were mostly young kids... no match for a good shoulder barge or well placed elbow), jumped down the stairs and headed for the empty grounds around the temple.

The way out towards the car park was just as treacherous. Now just because their education techniques are questionable, doesn't mean that Indonesian people aren't clever. The way in to the temple had been a clear walk down a nice tree lined path, but on the way out we found this way blocked. As were all other the routes except for just one. And that route was a maze of market stalls, beggars and touts all eager to get your money and not in the least shy about asking for it. This time, chin up, pretend you can't see anything but what's directly ahead of you and walk fast! That way you only get the most determined sellers pushing garish souvenirs into your face. There was one man who deserves particular credit for his efforts though. He followed us right to our minibus, trying to sell what looked to us like pieces of wood that a child had drawn on, had to be forcibly moved just so we could shut the door and then stood, face gaunt, about an inch from the window, pointing to these bits of wood while everyone on board tried to keep a straight face and pretend he didn't exist. He stood there for a full 5 minutes until the last two people arrived at the bus and we could finally leave.

That evening, Bob was nowhere to be found, so me and Nolke went into Yogya to explore the night stalls buy presents for people at home. Don't get your hopes up, he was the one buying presents, not me. Yogyakarta (pron: Jogjakarta), is a very arty and cultural place and full of batik artwork (more on that tomorrow), leatherwork and amazing food, but mostly full of tourists. Not that it was that bad though; probably my favourite place in Indonesia and certainly the most relaxed and laid back place that I've been to. Nolke bought a load of t-shirts for his nephews and some new headphones for his ipod while I gawked at the rock bottom camera prices and vowed one day to come back to this place with nothing but an empty suitcase and a large baggage allowance on the return flight. We ate dinner in a tiny little place well away from the markets and all the tourists and were pleasantly surprised by the 'Bakso' we'd ordered. This place served only meal - a really nice beef and noodle soup - for 5000Rp or in British terms, 30p, and one drink - a lemony, sweet tea - for 1500Rp... 10p!

Right, now for Friday. Bob had turned up again and he and Nolke were going to head off to some other nearby temples, while I stayed in Yogya to by Sarah's birthday present, post that and some other stuff home and then go and explore a batik art gallery. In the post office, I was asked by a worker there if I wanted a hand. Evidently I looked as lost and confused as I felt. So I showed him what I had to post and told him where it was going to and he took me round the back to the packaging department where I watched as some other workers packed it up very neatly. So if it arrives broken Sarah, it's not my fault. While this was happening I got talking to the first guy about where I'm from, what I'm doing here etc and when I told him I was going to a batik gallery later, he told me not to trust anyone round the touristy spots as it's all fake and massively overpriced and recommended a small place about a kilometer east of town that I should visit. Once the package was done and they saw the look of horror on my face at the price to post it via airmail, the same man said I should go to a different post office to get it send by boat, which would take up to 2 months, but would cost about 10% of the airmail price. It just so happened that he had to go to this post office himself to pick up a delivery of paper and he offered me a free ride on the back of his motorbike. Not one to sniff at anything free, I gratefully accepted. Once there, he helped me fill out all the forms, explained to the lady behind the counter what needed to happen and once everything was done, he told me that the good batik gallery was only two blocks from here and that he'd happily drop me there. Score! If only everyone were this friendly...

The batik gallery was fascinating. Batik is a process where you apply a pattern to fabric with molten wax, dye the fabric and the waxed parts stay white. Then you chuck the whole thing into boiling water and the wax comes off. With multiple dyings and waxing, some truly stunning effects and images are possible. I walked through to the back and two women and one man were working on new pieces, sitting on the floor, waxing bits of fabric. The man got up, introduced himself (in perfect English) and offered me a free tour of the gallery and an explanation of the process. Having done a fair bit of batik stuff for work at Brampton, I was fairly familiar with the process and able to truly appreciate just how bloody amazing some of these pieces of art were. Now no offense to the students at Brampton Manor, but the stuff in this gallery makes the batik work hanging around T6 look like something a blind child with no arms has done.

All the exhibits are either hanging on the walls or piled against each other along the edges of the room and there's so much in this little place that it'd take at least a day to look at it all; they have stuff from hundreds of artists across the globe. Now my room at home is decidedly bare and could do with some art to liven it up, so I figured I'd see if anything took my fancy. Looking round, I made a shortlist of about 30 pieces and the guy who'd given me the tour came over and remarked that I had very good taste. There were about 6 of his own in my little collection. I asked if I could see any more of his work and if he had any particular favourites. When asked this question, he pointed to a piece that had escaped me until now. Hanging opposite the main desk was an absolute masterpiece. A mountain landscape at least two and a half meters across and one and a half deep, so intricately detailed and perfectly made that I was almost speechless. It had taken him 17 weeks to complete and was the only piece he'd been working on at the time. Now most of the ones I'd picked out already were in the 150,000Rp - 300,000Rp range (about 10-20 quid) and all now seemed slightly poor in comparison. 1.75 Million Ruppiah this was valued at and me, never willing to spend any money on anything, was sorely tempted. So some hard bargaining followed and I got him down to 1.1m (about 67GBP), which seemed pretty good to me, so I bought it. It's now nice and safe at the bottom of my bag, waiting for me to get home and build a stretcher frame for it. If you're reading this Tom, I'll be paying the tech department a visit once I'm home, looking for some assistance.

This post is now failing to save as a draft, so I'll have to post it up. I'm off to get dinner somewhere in Kuala Lumpur's chinatown, where I'm staying at the moment. I will be back to add more to it!

Photos...

Bromo:



Pathetic sunrise




Borobodur:





Just a quick update on my plans for the next few weeks. I'm heading to the Camron Highlands tomorrow, and then to Penang. From there I'll have to move bloody quickly to Chiang Mai in north Thailand, because I've applied for a week long volunteering thing with a load of elephants on Jo's advice. If i'm successful, that starts on Monday morning. From there, Laos, Hanoi, Vietnam coast to Ho Chi Minh, Cambodia, Siem reap and the temples there, Bangkok, New York, HOME!!!

Byesy bye.